We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. - Carlos Castaneda





i saw a hawk this morning as i jogged in from Museum station...he flew across Queen's Park circle and landed on top of the apex of one of the U. of T. buildings...
he appeared to have something in his beak...looked like a twig....i hoped...although i know these are birds of prey....and it could likely have been a mouse....

Eagles are the highest evolution of the Scorpion in the zodiac...we evolve to the status of the eagle when we leave the baser instincts of vengefulness and learn forgiveness, when we use our analytical talent to see and aide others, not just to ferret out their secrets for our own recompense...known for our sexual prowess it is the linking of death and life which most accurately describes Scorpio in the esoteric sense...as one astrologer told me..."scorpios live and die each day"...so deep is our connection to emotion and so strong is our power to overcome adversity and rise ....like the phoenix from the ashes...

Last night i had an experience unlike any other...i stooped into a territory i'd never before ventured...for this i was made to feel ashamed...not that anything i did was inherently wrong in and of itself...i just felt shamed by the manner in which the person i was trying to please reacted to my vulnerability...now i wonder...what's that all about? why is that people lay these judgements upon others? ...make presumptions...i'm pretty tired of all of that....i've been around the dating mill for far too too long to take any guff from anyone...i've been used and abused in the past...because i allowed myself to be...now i feel i am stronger...i have always been honest...i have always been kind...i have always been giving...to others...it's time i learned to be giving to myself...
and not take S___! from anyone..i'm really tired of guys who want things from women, then turn around and treat them disrespectfully when they get exactly what they wanted...we women don't slam you men for being sexual beings...yet we are still demonized...as though Eve was never forgiven for tempting Adam with that apple....and really people? is this plausible? is this literal? no...this is simply symbolic of how women are still blamed for men's sexual appetites....we have carried the burden of his "weakness" for far too too long...i say enough!!...basta!!...i won't any longer...

so during this week of International Women's Day...let's rise up women and say enough!! we are free sexual beings with appetites and cravings and desires, longing and needs the same as any man's and we are entitled to fulfill those without feeling shame, guilt, remorse...no matter what our marital status...fair is fair...it's about equality and continuing the fight! it's not over....
let's not pretend the double-standard is no longer existant when it clearly is...
and i for one am not backing down from standing up for myself in this regard