http://www.selfesteem4women.com/_lib/eZine/articles/cc_0603.php?lnk=se4wez

confidence coaching
eZine article: March, 2006
written by Alison Finch
Challenging Your Inner Critic
chapter 1
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http://happiness-academy.info/powderfinger-my-happiness.html

Being Happy
by: Anusuya Veth

How can one be happy? Is it a tough question? To some it may be but not to all of us. Happiness is like a ray of sunlight which warms us and keeps us glowing. We can't live without it and if you think that happiness is a word never to be found in your dictionary think again as here are some simple tips on how to usher the ray of elation to your life.

1. Smile
What easier way is there to reach happiness than smiling? A smile a day keeps all nasty feelings away. That's my mantra but you too can follow it. A smile shows others that you are positive and joyful and somehow it brings a glow to you & makes you more approachable to the others.

2. Think Positive
If you are always sad and down thinking you will always be the born loser, brighten up. Thinking postive is something you have to do to keep the happy hormones & vibes around you. So axe away all that pessimistic thoughts!

3. Talk to your pals
Had a bad day at work? You can talk it over with your close buddies. It has been found that those who speak out about their woes and sorrows feel much better than those who keep all the feelings bottled up. Too much stress hurts and drives happiness away. So the next time you feel like your world is crashing hop on over to your friend's place for a cosy chat.


4. Do What You Love
Is there any joy doing what we all dislike? Nope. I agree that not all of us are fortunate to get a job which allows us to do what we love but you can still do what you like in your spare time. Hobbies are one area where you can get much elation doing what you love.

We all can find happiness if we try and work hard.

So never say that happiness is a word you can only dream of finding. Go be happy and live a life you want!

About The Author:Anusuya Veth is the author of Cupid Traps & Editor of Wow Mag & Celebrity Jam. She runs her own online accessories shop 'Anya' at http://www.geocities.com/anya_veth anya_veth@yahoo.com

We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. - Carlos Castaneda





i saw a hawk this morning as i jogged in from Museum station...he flew across Queen's Park circle and landed on top of the apex of one of the U. of T. buildings...
he appeared to have something in his beak...looked like a twig....i hoped...although i know these are birds of prey....and it could likely have been a mouse....

Eagles are the highest evolution of the Scorpion in the zodiac...we evolve to the status of the eagle when we leave the baser instincts of vengefulness and learn forgiveness, when we use our analytical talent to see and aide others, not just to ferret out their secrets for our own recompense...known for our sexual prowess it is the linking of death and life which most accurately describes Scorpio in the esoteric sense...as one astrologer told me..."scorpios live and die each day"...so deep is our connection to emotion and so strong is our power to overcome adversity and rise ....like the phoenix from the ashes...

Last night i had an experience unlike any other...i stooped into a territory i'd never before ventured...for this i was made to feel ashamed...not that anything i did was inherently wrong in and of itself...i just felt shamed by the manner in which the person i was trying to please reacted to my vulnerability...now i wonder...what's that all about? why is that people lay these judgements upon others? ...make presumptions...i'm pretty tired of all of that....i've been around the dating mill for far too too long to take any guff from anyone...i've been used and abused in the past...because i allowed myself to be...now i feel i am stronger...i have always been honest...i have always been kind...i have always been giving...to others...it's time i learned to be giving to myself...
and not take S___! from anyone..i'm really tired of guys who want things from women, then turn around and treat them disrespectfully when they get exactly what they wanted...we women don't slam you men for being sexual beings...yet we are still demonized...as though Eve was never forgiven for tempting Adam with that apple....and really people? is this plausible? is this literal? no...this is simply symbolic of how women are still blamed for men's sexual appetites....we have carried the burden of his "weakness" for far too too long...i say enough!!...basta!!...i won't any longer...

so during this week of International Women's Day...let's rise up women and say enough!! we are free sexual beings with appetites and cravings and desires, longing and needs the same as any man's and we are entitled to fulfill those without feeling shame, guilt, remorse...no matter what our marital status...fair is fair...it's about equality and continuing the fight! it's not over....
let's not pretend the double-standard is no longer existant when it clearly is...
and i for one am not backing down from standing up for myself in this regard

The Power of Effective Listening by Jana Hollingsworth
Do people really listen to one another any more?
Being an effective listener can be one of the most powerful life skills you can have in life. I have found Empathic Listening to be an invaluable tool in my coaching practice. Not only do my clients feel heard and validated but they also find that when they apply this skill to their every day life, it can help enormously. It is a powerful asset in business dealings as well as in close relationships. In modern society, most of us have forgotten the art of how to really tune in and listen to each other. We are caught up in our world of cell phones and blackberries while trying to hold a conversation. Our minds are often preoccupied and the conversation literally goes in one ear and out the other. Wouldn't it be nice to have a conversation with someone where you not only have their undivided attention but also sense that they are really interested in what you are saying?
The reason Empathic Listening is such an incredibly powerful communication skill is that it lets the other person know you are present and interested in what they are saying. According to the dictionary, empathy is a way of "experiencing as one's own of the feelings of another." When using this skill in communicating with another, you are putting aside your own values, needs and judgments and focusing on the essence of what the other person is thinking, feeling or wanting. You acknowledge this person's words by looking them in the eye, nodding your head and responding to them in a way that lets them know you are there with them. Your focus stays on the speaker until the person has completed what they are sharing. An example of this would be a speaker telling you that they just paid off their credit card debt, and your empathic response would be something like, "That must be a huge relief!" or "You must feel so good!" By acknowledging them in this way, the speaker feels heard.
So many times, a speaker will make a statement and the listener will turn the subject matter back to themselves. Here is an example of NOT being an empathic listener. The speaker says, "I just lost 25 pounds. This is the first time in my life I've been able to lose the weight and keep it off." The non-empathic listener would reply by saying, "I remember the first time I lost a lot of weight. I was so happy until the pounds starting creeping back on, etc, etc." This listener has completely ignored the speakers "win," and emphasized that they are more concerned about themselves. Empathic listening can be a wonderful tool to increase the intimacy in a relationship. When the focus stays on the speaker, both people share a more meaningful exchange.
Try the following exercise with a partner. Take turns sharing about a topic that is important to you (i.e., a problem you are having trouble solving, something exciting happening in your life, etc.) The person who is doing the "empathic" listening should really tune in and pay attention to what the speaker is saying. Maintain eye contact, make comments like, "I hear you," or "I understand what you are saying." You don't have to solve the person's problem; you just need to let them know that they are being heard. Reverse roles and do the same exercise again. Experience the bond you feel with the other person when you listen in this way.
Empathic listening is about the quality of your listening to another person. When a person feels that they've been heard and understood, they feel validated and cared for. By embracing the skill of listening from your heart instead of your head, you will find your relationships acquire a deeper quality and meaning.

To book a complimentary coaching consultation, contact Jana Hollingsworth at jana@dreamsnmotion.com. Jana is a Life Coach and Human Design Analyst www.dreamsnmotion.com

From Various Sources

Each day comes bearing its gifts. Untie the ribbons. -Ann Ruth Schabader

A Native American Way to Begin the Day(Stand on Mother Earth. Face any direction you choose. Take one step forward, as you look about, up and down:)O Great, Holy Spirit, I take this step into the day you have given. I embrace all I see — the season, the wind, the fragrances, the weather. Let me always accept the day given with a grateful heart. Read more...
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/172/story_17277_1.html?WT.mc_id=NL44


"How, dear sir, did you cross the flood?""By not halting friend, and by not straining I crossed the flood.""But how is it, dear sir, that by not halting and by not straining you crossed the flood?""When I came to a standstill, friend, then I sank; but when I struggled, then I got swept away. It is in this way, friend, that by not halting and by not straining I crossed the flood."-Buddha, "The Connected Discourses of the Buddha"

Copyright Wisdom Publications 2001. Reprinted from "Daily Wisdom: 365 Buddhist Inspirations" with permission of Wisdom Publications, 199 Elm St., Somerville MA 02144 U.S.A, www.wisdompubs.org.

One step at a time is progress.

Have you ever been asked if your glass is half empty or half full? Chances are someone - either a friend or a colleague has asked youthat question at some point. Your answer is important - because how you see life - or how you perceive things ultimately shapes your reality, your circumstances and your life. Perception is a very powerful tool; it can help you achieve your goals and catapult you to success - if you work with it and use perception to help you. Unfortunately most people don't use the power of perception or they use it to create the life that they don't want. In today's newsletter I'll show you how you can work with the power of perception; how you can change your perception to suit your needs. I'll show you how you can work with the Power of Perception to ultimately create the life you want - a life filled with success, happiness and more. http://www.creatingpower.com/news.htm

today's help is more spiritual, from a blend of various sources...i believe i will eventually coalesce this with the other blog and perhaps restrict this one to more psychological based postings...
always my struggle is separating mind/bony; spirit/soul; emotion/intellect
they are so intertwined...our EI is as important, perhaps moreso than our IQ...think of all the extremely intelligent intellectuals who are isolated in thier own genuis...of all the artists who are so devoted to their craft they become hermit-like...i know this well, when i get into a "groove" i really don't want much to do with others... yet our connection to others is what makes us...we do not live in a vacuum...
balance is the key and to find the right one for you...